7 Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Mom

Posted by Ali | Wednesday January 18, 2012

Before my baby boy was born I got a lot of advice. I still continue to receive a lot of (unsolicited) advice. But no one told me the following super important details I am about to share with you. You're Welcome, in advance.

1. Don't buy a nursing bra with underwire. Unless you like blocked milk ducts.
The busty woman at the bra store turned me away from a really nice soft t-shirt bra, saying I'd much prefer the black lace underwire one in the long haul. That was a lie and I pay for it every time I wear it. Which is when my other much more appropriate bras are in the wash.

2. Even if you lose all of your pregnancy weight, your body is not the same.
I have been suffering for 5 months with pants that won't quite do up even though the scale (the liar) tells me I'm the same weight as before. Apparently your body changes in mysterious ways, so don't feel bad when you have to buy new clothes. It's a perfectly legitimate and excellent excuse.

3. Your baby is the cutest in the world.
Thank you, God. I was worried about the cuteness factor before my son was born, what with the large heads my husband and I have and there are also some nose issues going on. It turns out I had no need to worry as he is in fact the cutest baby in the world. Apparently all Moms feel that way (but of course in my case it is the truth!).

4. Nursing is not the most natural thing ever.
Every prenatal class, every book you read, and every time you see a mother peacefully nursing her baby you are being brainwashed into believing that breastfeeding is the easiest most natural thing ever. It is not. It is the hardest thing ever. That's why there are highly paid professionals called Lactation Consultants that charge upwards of $100/hour. It is worth it, and I highly recommend you get one.

5. Sleeping Through the Night is a myth.
Did you know that 5 hours consecutive sleep is considered 'sleeping through the night'? So if your baby falls asleep at 8pm and gets up at 1am, congratulations!! Your baby has achieved this major milestone and now you should have more energy than ever! Except of course, you went to bed at 11. And from this point forward, Junior will be up every two hours wanting to play, eat and whatnot.

6. Babysitters don't grow on trees.
I honestly don't know what I thought would happen when I wanted a night out with my husband, to attend a meeting or just get a manicure. In my mind's eye, a capable, warm babysitter would somehow just appear and all we'd have to do is pay the hourly rate and slip away. Apparently, you have to do months of research and interviews and stuff to find these people. I have done none of this. So if I need to go somewhere, I beg favours from my friends who have babies the same age as mine. Seems ideal, but I do feel guilty thinking of them with two tiny tots under 6 months - especially when mine poops with such force the blast has been known to go up to his elbows and down to his socks.

7. Once you have your baby, that is all you can talk about.
It's like everything else that I knew or that interested me is no longer relevant. When I get together with my friends or even meet a stranger at the grocery store, all I want to talk about is my baby:

"So, ya his poo is brown now. Totally different consistency."

"He's the cutest baby you've ever seen? I completely agree with you."

"The Doctor says he's in the 90th percentile for height - and for head size. What percentile is your baby?"

I'm supposed to still be tweeting and keeping up with my 'followers', but when I sit there and think of what to say the above pops into my head. And so I close my Twitter and open my camera app instead to take hundreds of pictures of my baby.

I'm sure at some point I'll want to discuss other important subjects with you but for now, this is my favourite one.

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18 Comments

	on April 10, 2012 Ali de Bold STAFF said: @GoneBatty - cabbage leaves in the bra? That's too funny! I've never heard of that one. I agree, the engorgement process is not fun!
	on April 09, 2012 GoneBatty 3,196 said: No one tells you how painful it is when your milk comes in and you get engorged! Thankfully I had a friend who knew that cabbage leaves in your bra helps ease the discomfort. It really works!
	on February 01, 2012 fargiemargie13 1,009 said: Great tips. I never heard the underwire one. Thanks!
	on January 24, 2012 Ali de Bold STAFF said: Thank you, Alize! And TammyK you are absolutely right, it's the best thing ever. It's something I wouldn't have completely understood before having him.
	on January 24, 2012 TammyK 1,073 said: Your baby is honestly too cute! I laughed so hard when you said "especially when mine poops with such force the blast has been known to go up to his elbows and down to his socks." No doubt being a new mom is hard but I bet it's the best achievement one can have.
	on January 20, 2012 Aliza 14,011 said: Great read! You have a beautiful son!
	on January 18, 2012 Ali de Bold STAFF said: Awww, I love reading all of your comments! @Becky, don't worry your baby will be adorable. And what's most important is you will always think so no matter what. It looks like a ChickAdvisor onesie but it actually says, "Chicks Dig Me". I saw it in the store and had to buy it! @mamaluv I completely agree with your #8 and #9! @all of you who commented about bodies changing, who were all of those people that told us we'd 'bounce back'? People who adopted their babies I suppose. But like @LyrissaSmillie said, it's 100% worth it! @mela86 it is very common to go up a shoe size (give or take). The additional weight and unusual distribution can make your feet spread permanently, which is why that happens. I guess you could say it's a great excuse to buy new shoes! @shellsbells85, that is the thing that surprised me the most. The truth is it's hard for almost everyone for the first little bit. They really should tell you that in prenatal classes so you don't feel like a failure when it happens to you. @Kim Vallee, you are so lucky! Sleeping through the night is huge. I'd love the extra energy and am hoping this will happen soon! It's also a major blessing you found a good sitter right away. This is something I'm looking into right now and though it feels a bit daunting to find someone I trust, I completely agree with your strategy of being at home with them until you feel comfortable. Great tip! @Veronika Tkach, I'm so going to take you up on that. But before you agree, note what I said about his poos. It may make you change your mind!!
	on January 18, 2012 shellsbells85 3,580 said: hahahha love this--its so very true!! I especially love # 4!! I HATED breastfeeding..i did it for awhile because I felt everyone pressuring me to continue doing it and id just cry all the timem and after feeding my son from my boob, then pumping, then feeding again, over and over again, I felt like a cow being milked..ugh! never again!
	on January 18, 2012 mela86 2,943 said: Your baby is very cuteee and I agree with all your points. I really agree with points 2, 6 and 7. I technically lost the weight but I have never worn the same clothes or sizes as before. Also, I'm not sure how many agree with this but I also went up one shoe size. And yes the babysitter becomes extremely important as many nights can be lost because of poor planning. I find that I have to plan nights and rarely have any impromptu nights with my hubby in order to have our nights out. And because your whole day is consumed with your little one, it does become easy to be the only thing you want to talk about!
	on January 18, 2012 no1-mom 1,031 said: Lol .....you are so funny! And, you are absolutely right. I can identify with everything you said. Can really I'd with how your body has changed. It different after, just different all around, life, emotions, responsibility, attitude, patience. I could go on!