There is a great discussion going on in our site forum* right now about the When, Where, and Why of having sex for the first time.

The first poster is contemplating if the time is right for her to "go all the way", and at the same time has concerns about protecting herself and sharing this moment with her boyfriend. Her comments have prompted many insightful responses from our members, including one who wistfully wishes she would have had this type of support back when she was facing a similar situation.

It struck me then that most of us probably do have quite a bit of support from family and friends, but hearing the tough truths from those closest to us - does it help?

Mom says: "Protect yourself! You don't want to end up pregnant at your age."

Grandma says: "In my day, if a gentleman wanted to call on me he had to ask my father first. Save those bedroom shenanigans for the wedding night, missie!"

BFF says: "Like, oh my Godddddd, he's kind of a tool."

Why is it that reaching out to a community of women you've never met can be in some ways more informative and comforting that trusting the opinions of your loved ones? Every comment in the thread echoed exactly what this young woman probably has already heard-- she probably did not get much information that she didn't already have.

Yet, sometimes hearing good sense from strangers can be more powerful than from someone you know is biased. Maybe it's exactly because they don't know the intimate details that their uniquely objective opinions strike a chord, or maybe it's because we feel we could freely disregard a stranger's advice and never have to deal with the aftermath of a hundred I-told-you-so's.

I have attended the last two ChickAdvisor ShopCrawls in Toronto, and in both cases ended up shopping with girls I had never met before that night. Strangely, I found myself putting greater stock in their fashion opinions than the few people also at the event who I know well. My Facebook account (though sadly neglected) is full of friends and friends of friends that I have only known a few months, but my emailing with family and former best friends has dwindled to a bare trickle.

Is it because I know what they will all say before they say it? Do I really think I'll get a fresh perspective from a stranger? I get into deep discussions with my seat mates on an airplane, talk politics with my hairdresser, and share Too Much Information with other mommies when discussing childbirth and other such (supposedly) private topics. In many cases, I would never dream of chatting about this with my family.

In the case of ChickChat, we can talk about everything under the sun because each of us has different experiences that offer perspective on any topic. We have a diverse ages, educations, relationship commitments, careers, and goals - and yet we usually come to a consensus. Who'd a thunk? Often, that consensus boils down to some good old common sense... the same 2 cents you probably already heard from your mom.

Thank you to all our ChickChat participants! We wouldn't be the same site without you.

To all of you who've never tried it, check it out*. You can always post anonymously and expect sincere answers.

*You must be a member and logged in to use our site forum. And behave yourself, or the site moderators will kick your @ss :D