Gratuitous Hottie Face Off: Gerard Butler vs. Justin Theroux

Posted by Alexandra C. | Friday September 23, 201111 comments

Friends don't let friends date losers. As such, we decided that because We're Obsessed With Jennifer Aniston and we've come to think of her as our own girlfriend, we need to do some serious scrutinizing about her current and ex- boyfriends. Thankfully, she's moved past that bad influencer John Mayer and is onto the very adorable Justin Theroux but we kind of miss her past rumoured bf- the smokin' hot Gerard Butler! So the question is... who's the hotter Jen Aniston BF, Gerard or Justin? 
 

Round 1: Who's Better For Jen? 
Justin Theroux (left): How cute is this man? I like him with Jennifer because I think he probably dotes on her, supports her and is generally just a super fun guy to be with. The relationship seems uncomplicated in the very best way! 
Gerard Butler (right): On the hotness factor- he's pretty up there. On the cute and sweet scale, he ranks pretty high too. They had undeniable chemistry on screen and I am pretty sure that translated into hot passion off screen too! 

Winner: I'm giving this one up to Justin this round. He seems to be so genuine and really care about Jen- this one is a keeper! 


Round 2: Who's the manlier man? 
Justin Theroux: Owns a motorcycle. That is all.  
Gerard Butler: 300. That is all. 

Winner: Going with Gerard because his Spartan yells send chills down my spine.  


Round 3: Who rocks the hat?
Justin Theroux: A 1920's fedora eh? Well played Justin, well played. I give you props for wearing a very hard to pull off hat. However, you've got a fabulous head of hair dude, show it off! 
Gerard Butler: Going with the newsboy cap I see? Well, good on you sir! A retro look for an old school scottish lad- I like it on you. I do wish it didn't hide those baby blues of yours though.  


Winner: Justin wins because in a world of baseball caps, wearing a fedora takes a bold and courageous personality. Plus, he looks all Humphrey Bogart in it- hawt


Round 4: Who's got the swagger?
Justin Theroux: Justin has the swagger of a frat boy that just got the last case of Molson Canadian at the beer store. Meaning, he's the lucky duck that scored Jen Aniston and he most definitely knows it. He also has an affinity for leather jackets which helps. 
Gerard Butler: He's confident, cool and collected at all times. It doesn't hurt that I am pretty sure underneath his t-shirt his abs rival those of The Situation's. I think he must have magical biceps or something that give him the ultimate power to just look at girl and have her fall for him. 

Winner: I think Gerard wins this one because while Justin may walk into a party like he's 'walkin' on to a yacht...', Gerard has an innante coolness in him that can't be bought, sold or replicated. 

Champion: So, it's a tie- I didn't even do this intentionally!!! So I guess this needs a tie breaker round? 

Tie Breaker: Who's the better arm candy? 

Gerard Butler has an awesome bod but I think Justin is cuter. So- here it is, do we go for beauty or brawn? I think beauty. Justin Theroux wins. In any case, Justin- leave Jen, come to me. 

Disagree? Agree? Let us know which one of Jen's boys you prefer, leave comment below and get in touch on Twitter and Facebook
 
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11 Comments

on September 23, 2011  mamaluv  STAFF said:

Thank you for not including Brad Pitt and Vince Vaughn in this matchup: the former because I'd have to cry (like The Notebook says, IT'S STILL NOT OVER), and the latter because let's face it - he'd have been creamed.

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