This week in Gratuitous Hotties, let's discuss two of the world's hottest pirates- Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Here's why I love pirates: they say things like "Arrrrr!', they like rum, they have parrots, they wear stylish boots and hats. Here's why I love these two pirates specifically: they are hot. 

Like other Gratuitous Hottie Face Offs, Johnny and Orlando will square off in three rounds- each designed to put their strength, intelligence and of course, hotness to the test. In the end one of them will come out on top and get to take me to dinner (I wish).

(images via johnny-depp-wallpapers-hd.blogspot.com, justjared.com) 

Round 1: Who wears the long hair better? 

(image via images4.fanpop.com)

Johnny: Don't take this the wrong way Johnny- but your long hair kind of reminds me of my own hair, that time in 7th grade when I cut it all off and then it started growing out in that weird way. Yikes. 

Orlando: I'm actually a fan of this look. His beachy and wavy curls give it volume and he's looking stylish but laid back. 

Winner: Orlando pulls this one off in a chic way. Johnny looks better with shorter hair that shows off his cut-glass cheekbones! 

Round 2: Who wears the tux like a boss? 


Johnny: Somehow, Johnny looks a bit awkward in a tux, I guess because usually, he has that 1970's hobo chic look going on and this is a much different look. While it is nice to see him all cleaned up and shiny-like, I kind of prefer the bad boy, dirty, rough n' tumble look. 

Orlando: Orlando looks sweet in a tuxedo. It suits because he makes it his own- it's minimalist, stylish, and how adorable is his bow tie?

Winner: This one broke my heart a little bit to write because I love Johnny but he just doesn't quite have the stuff to pull of a tux. I think Johnny cool enough that he could shrug the tuxs all together- show up in his undies to an award show! So, this round goes to you Orlando- but that doesn't mean I don't love you Johnny!

Round 3: Who's more badass? 

(image via fanpop.com) 
 
Johnny: Ummm.... he's Johnny Depp. He's slightly off his rocker, a total scoundrel if there ever was one and there is no other word for him but... cool. 

Orlando: Reasons why Orlando is awesome: he is a good father, he is married to Miranda Kerr, he has nice hair and I get the feeling he's a good cook and he has an accent. 

Winner: Goes to Johnny for being crazy and unpredictable. Sure, Orlando is nice but let's have some fun, shall we? 

So there you have our Champion Winner this week is Orlando Bloom! I must say, this was not how I expected it to go down when I started writing. So, let me know, do you disagree, agree have another opinion all together? Let me know in the comments below lovelies! 
 
(Johnny Depp images via justjared.com)