Most of my writing here on ChickAdvisor centers on self-improvement. I’m a believer in year-round resolutions and the continual evolution of my personal brand (it’s Fancy Tomboy, if you were wondering). A few months back I got really hardcore about cutting back on my belongings. Specifically, I vowed not to shop for clothing until I had worn, donated or pitched every single article in my possession.

And I almost made it--really! I had just one more little dress hanging unworn in my closet when I caved and my experiment in self-control and fiscal responsibility was over. Why would I undertake such an endeavor only to fall short of the finish line?

Truth is, I kind of needed a wedding dress. And even though I have in my possession a perfectly lovely cream-colored Nanette Lepore column-dress that somehow makes my 8th-grade-boy-body look curvy I wanted a little something new and definitely not something white (sorry, parents).


I was engaged for a whole 16 days, which gave me ample time to find a dress and shoes on a shopping spree with my best friend (the internet).

Planning a wedding in 2 weeks is no easy feat, which is why I didn’t even bother planning one. Instead, I let my amazingly-organized and ridiculously-overachieving sister take the reins. She enlisted the help of our overly-talented and unbelievably-generous friends and family and pulled off what my father described as “a bit non-denominational for my tastes, but a beautiful event.” Success!

I’ve never been a girl who dreamed of her wedding day, but having attended somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-20 weddings over the past few years, I’ve formed more than a few opinions about these events. Now that I’ve had one of my own, I’m finally entitled to all of them.

Soooo, here they are:

A live web feed of the event plus real-time Twitter screen at the wedding allowed friends, family, and internet gawkers alike to share Nora & Aaron's day

Do you want a wedding, or a marriage? It’s something my grandmother used to say. She got married in a pants suit on an Army base with one of my grandfather’s buddies serving as her “Man of Honor.” She didn’t have much of a wedding, but she had one hell of a marriage, which lasted for all of eternity and produced 9 children. Clearly, she knew what she was talking about.

Weddings make people insane. Even if you’re engaged for five minutes, someone will find something to freak out about. And so will you, even if you’re the coolest bride in the world. There are a certain faction of people who see weddings as a reflection of their role in your life. These are usually people who have something like little to no role in your life. Brush that crazy off your shoulders and proceed.

Wedding make people insane. Can’t say it enough. Even if you think you’ve clearly and tactfully told that person that they aren’t invited, they’re going to show up. With a date.


It’s YOUR wedding. As in, yours and his. Invite who you want to be there, even if that means trimming back on third cousins and inviting the barista from your coffee shop. Wear what you want, even if it causes someone on the Internet to describe you as “an interesting bride.” If the idea of having your husband reach up your skirt to pull off a garter that isn’t actually holding anything up in front of your mother and father makes you want to die, don’t do it! If you don’t even like cake, don’t have one! And yes, some women get married to men who hate cake. It’s weird, but it happens.

The whole thing will be over before you know it. And when you wake up the next day in your smelly retainer with mascara crusting your eyes shut, you’ll be able to see the concept of “FOR-EV-ER” registering in your beloved’s eyes.

The First Kiss heard 'round the Twitterverse (Nora & Aaron's hashtag trended that day on Twitter)

Love is the best thing in the world. And everything else is a forgettable detail. Honestly, who cares about worthless favors that your guests will just ditch in the parking lot? Who remembers whether or not the wedding party was evenly matched? Who minds that most of your bridesmaids were actually men? Do what you love with the one you love on a day you’ve decided to share that love with the world.

Because I haven’t said love enough in this post, let me just wish you piles and piles of it in this coming year. Seriously, so much love you don’t know what to do with it. So much love you need to rearrange your closet to store it all. So much love you need to get a bigger purse to carry it all around with you. That much love. And a little more.

Photography by Megan McDonald