I Can't Keep a Resolution (but Let's Blame it on My Wedding)

Posted by Nora | Wednesday January 4, 201220 comments

Most of my writing here on ChickAdvisor centers on self-improvement. I’m a believer in year-round resolutions and the continual evolution of my personal brand (it’s Fancy Tomboy, if you were wondering). A few months back I got really hardcore about cutting back on my belongings. Specifically, I vowed not to shop for clothing until I had worn, donated or pitched every single article in my possession.

And I almost made it--really! I had just one more little dress hanging unworn in my closet when I caved and my experiment in self-control and fiscal responsibility was over. Why would I undertake such an endeavor only to fall short of the finish line?

Truth is, I kind of needed a wedding dress. And even though I have in my possession a perfectly lovely cream-colored Nanette Lepore column-dress that somehow makes my 8th-grade-boy-body look curvy I wanted a little something new and definitely not something white (sorry, parents).


I was engaged for a whole 16 days, which gave me ample time to find a dress and shoes on a shopping spree with my best friend (the internet).

Planning a wedding in 2 weeks is no easy feat, which is why I didn’t even bother planning one. Instead, I let my amazingly-organized and ridiculously-overachieving sister take the reins. She enlisted the help of our overly-talented and unbelievably-generous friends and family and pulled off what my father described as “a bit non-denominational for my tastes, but a beautiful event.” Success!

I’ve never been a girl who dreamed of her wedding day, but having attended somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-20 weddings over the past few years, I’ve formed more than a few opinions about these events. Now that I’ve had one of my own, I’m finally entitled to all of them.

Soooo, here they are:

A live web feed of the event plus real-time Twitter screen at the wedding allowed friends, family, and internet gawkers alike to share Nora & Aaron's day

Do you want a wedding, or a marriage? It’s something my grandmother used to say. She got married in a pants suit on an Army base with one of my grandfather’s buddies serving as her “Man of Honor.” She didn’t have much of a wedding, but she had one hell of a marriage, which lasted for all of eternity and produced 9 children. Clearly, she knew what she was talking about.

Weddings make people insane. Even if you’re engaged for five minutes, someone will find something to freak out about. And so will you, even if you’re the coolest bride in the world. There are a certain faction of people who see weddings as a reflection of their role in your life. These are usually people who have something like little to no role in your life. Brush that crazy off your shoulders and proceed.

Wedding make people insane. Can’t say it enough. Even if you think you’ve clearly and tactfully told that person that they aren’t invited, they’re going to show up. With a date.


It’s YOUR wedding. As in, yours and his. Invite who you want to be there, even if that means trimming back on third cousins and inviting the barista from your coffee shop. Wear what you want, even if it causes someone on the Internet to describe you as “an interesting bride.” If the idea of having your husband reach up your skirt to pull off a garter that isn’t actually holding anything up in front of your mother and father makes you want to die, don’t do it! If you don’t even like cake, don’t have one! And yes, some women get married to men who hate cake. It’s weird, but it happens.

The whole thing will be over before you know it. And when you wake up the next day in your smelly retainer with mascara crusting your eyes shut, you’ll be able to see the concept of “FOR-EV-ER” registering in your beloved’s eyes.

The First Kiss heard 'round the Twitterverse (Nora & Aaron's hashtag trended that day on Twitter)

Love is the best thing in the world. And everything else is a forgettable detail. Honestly, who cares about worthless favors that your guests will just ditch in the parking lot? Who remembers whether or not the wedding party was evenly matched? Who minds that most of your bridesmaids were actually men? Do what you love with the one you love on a day you’ve decided to share that love with the world.

Because I haven’t said love enough in this post, let me just wish you piles and piles of it in this coming year. Seriously, so much love you don’t know what to do with it. So much love you need to rearrange your closet to store it all. So much love you need to get a bigger purse to carry it all around with you. That much love. And a little more.

Photography by Megan McDonald
More by Nora
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20 Comments

on January 05, 2012  LadyChick234234  3,701 said:


Nora and Aaron - what a BEAUTIFUL and heartfelt wedding. The pictures are gorgeous and you can really see the love in your eyes. Wishing you much love and light for the next 60 years.

on January 05, 2012  takoda  28,648 said:

Congrats Nora and Aaron!! I had a feel this was going to happen,
I just didn't think it would happen this soon. Love everything
you had to say here and its all so true. All that really matters in the
end is how much you love each other and we all can see that you both
truly do. May you have years and years and years of happiness together.

on January 05, 2012  Nik05  7,949 said:

Congrats Nora!! Love the wedding pictures, I really like what you did with the lights in the second picture. So pretty. :)

on January 04, 2012  mamaluv  STAFF said:

Good for you, shellsbells! Nora is absolutely right and while it's a gutsy call to risk upsetting family, it's ultimately YOUR day and no one else's (and by "your", I mean you and your fiance. It's not just the bride of course).

Nora - you're one smart cookie and I really mean that, bro.

on January 04, 2012  shellsbells85  3,580 said:

O...M..G!!! I absolutely LOVELOVELOVE everything about this article!!! From the way you express yourself to your taste and style of wedding. My fiance and I are going thru this all right now with planning, and it has caused way too many arguments with family, MINE in particular..Ugh!! I come from such a posh and uptight family that needs something traditional and I am far from that!!! My bf and I decided on a conservation area with a nice pavilion for our summer wedding cuz we are huge into camping and frequent this site quite often...my family is totally against it and every time I bring it up, my mom looks at me with such disgust. Anyways, to make a long story short, this article truly inspires me ti go ahead and do what WE want, f*ck everyone else!!! (pardon the language :p)

on January 04, 2012  Becky  13,128 said:

Omg Nora CONGRATS on your wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish YOU tons and tons of love, and happiness and laughter! <3 :) :) :) That's unbelievable .. I'm thinking back to your (our) journey for the right guy, man friend, and so on .... wishing you both all the very best ....foreverrrrr =D

on January 04, 2012  Empress_AliFu  1,401 said:

IT'S YOUR WEDDING! caught my attention the most... I'm starting to get the family and friend pressure re: what to do, who to invite bla bla etc... and even though I am not even engaged yet, I feel guilted into doing things/inviting people I don't care about!

on January 04, 2012  Nora said:

@AlexJC we used tweetwally.com so they are also saved 4-v-r, which is really nice. Like a digital guest book.

on January 04, 2012  india said:

"AN INTERESTING BRIDE" IS THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENT, NORA.

on January 04, 2012  AlexJC  50 said:

I kind of LOVE the idea of having a live twitter feed at the wedding so friends and family could tweet messages!

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