It Isn't the Thought That Counts

Posted by Ali | Monday July 5, 2010

Last night at a dinner party, my friends and I were trading stories (and laughing our asses off) about the way men in our lives have abused the expression, "It's the thought that counts."

For example, he says:

"You know what, Baby? For your birthday, I was going to rent a sailboat for you and your friends for a scenic tour of the lake. But instead, I ordered takeout for the two of us to eat at home."

"I was thinking about buying you some diamond earrings for Christmas... but I didn't. I even went to the store to look at them! But it's the thought that counts, right, Honey?"

Right?

Wrong. We agreed: better to have not mentioned 'the thought' than tell someone you were going to do something awesome... and then not do it.

My theory is, somewhere along the line men have gotten themselves confused about the meaning behind the expression "It's the thought that counts."

The way women understand it is more like a good action (not idea) gone awry. Say he makes you a home cooked meal that didn't turn out, or his feelings for you inspired a poem he wrote that was corny. That's sweet because he actually tried to do it and therefore the thought that counts applies.

In the case of having an idea without action that didn't pan out, what would you like us to say? "Oh Sweetie you had that idea?! That's wonderful! I love that you thought about that!"

Too bad I didn't get it!

Ladies. Agree? What thoughts that didn't count have you experienced?

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5 Comments

	on July 07, 2010 Ali de Bold STAFF said: Virtual dinner... Ha! I love that! That's what we should call those. Virtual ideas.
	on July 07, 2010 Hot Cuppa 922 said: Very funny, and true. Actually, I have seen it right across the board in so many instances beyond men and relationships. Recently, I was at a 'girls' night' dinner, and as the hostess passed around some of the pot-luck appetizers that her guests had brought, she kept announcing things like "I was going to try making lamb chops for you guys..." (everyone ooohed and aaaahed appreciatively while she beamed with pride) and then, as she cut into a bakery-bought dessert, "I found the best recipe for a Bailey's Chocolate Cheesecake that I was thinking of making. Maybe next time you're over!!" and, again, more oohs and aahs and "wow, that sounds great!" appreciation. It was like a virtual dinner!!!
	on July 06, 2010 PamelaL 1,638 said: I agree, ideas don't count unless effort was put into it. It sounds like an excuse for being lazy so it's better to not even mention 'the thought' at all. It doesn't have to be something extravagant, as long as you tried to do something special with genuine effort, we'll notice!
	on July 06, 2010 ngill 1,669 said: You can't use it's the thought that counts as an excuse for your laziness. And if you really had any intention of planning something that spectacular for me, you wouldn't tell me when it didn't work out, you would hold on to the idea until the next special occasion and get it right that time. And sometimes you make your own situation worse for yourself. If I was expecting a take-out dinner and that's what you got me, then I wouldn't be disappointed. But if while we're eating you tell me you wanted to plan a picnic by the lake, then I'm just going to think about what I could've had.
	on July 05, 2010 cathy3087 98 said: Haha this is funny and totally true! The "thought that counts" only applies if you actually try hard and things don't pan out exactly as planned! You can't just think about something but not put any effort into doing it - that doesn't mean a thing!