I like flannel shirts and big boots and the smell of Old Spice under my arms.  I like Britney Spears and skincare routines and I’ve tried every mascara on the planet.  I’m as well-versed in professional wrestling and competitive eating as I am in Katherine Heigl rom-coms and celebrity gossip.  I pride myself on being a girls' girl and one of the guys-- but one thing I’m definitely not is a lady. Yeah, I own a collection of party dresses and I know how to give myself a nearly perfect home manicure, but other than that, I’m at a loss. 

“You’re too BUSY to be a lady,” says my boss, a perfect example of modern ladyhood.  Uh no, I’m not. You know who is too busy to be such a lady but does it anyway? My BFF's wife, a girl who is getting her PhD in a science that is too complicated for my brain to even remember, yet has the time to perfectly master every skill she puts her mind to.

Like sewing.  And cooking.

And planning a picture-perfect mostly DIY wedding that would have made Martha proud.

And knitting me the perfect little pair of handwarmers (so I can text) and a neckwarmer (to keep that bird neck of mine warm when it's frigid).

Again, WHILE GETTING HER PhD IN A SCIENCE I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE NAME OF.

I come from a long line of strong women who perfected the art of ladyhood.  My grandmother sewed clothing for all nine of her children (yes, 9. we’re Irish Catholic).  My mother makes amazing dinners on Sunday nights, created each of my childhood Halloween costumes by hand (including the year I mysteriously wanted to be the season of Autumn) and knits tiny mittens and hats for my niece and nephew while watching Masterpiece Theatre.  My cousin knows how to cook a pork shoulder (not even sure what that is), create the perfect outfit for any occasion and change her own tire. My sister raises two kids, is a very important businesswoman and nearly always looks like she’s ready for a photoshoot for hot nerds.

If these ladies aren’t too busy to get it together, then neither am I.  With that, I present to you the bizarre collection of lady goals that I’ve posted randomly on my office walls:

*Private sewing lesson: time to unlearn all the bad habits developed by years of being unable to take advice from my mother, and having a grandmother who just “let me be Nora,” even when it meant my curtains were uneven

*Write letters: send people I love real, live letters, even if they’re just a few sentences.

*Finish 1 knitting project: again with that bad habit thing

*Cooking lessons: from my amazing lady boss, who doesn’t judge me when my dinner is a handful of almonds and peanut butter M&MS (note: FANTASTIC COMBINATION)

*Ukelele: not sure how this fits into the mix, but it seems like a fun skill to have

Readers: I know most of you are true ladies of course, but who are YOUR modern lady role models?

by Nora McInerny

*all images by the BFF's wife (add self-taught photographer to the list, of course)