True story.

Today as I was walking down the street approaching an intersection, a drunk man stumbled up to me and announced, "I love your shoes. They're so shiny I - I need to step on them", at which point he lunged at my foot. I moved my foot back but he tried again saying, "I just need to step on them."

I pulled back further and asked him to please not! He paused for a moment uncertainly, eyeing my shoes longingly while he weighed his options.

A chivalrous stranger aware of the situation inserted himself between me and the drunk. The light turned green and we started to cross.

"I'm so sorry", the drunk slurred. I wasn't actually going to do it. I just wanted to, but I didn't mean it."

"OK!" I responded brightly moving away.

"I wasn't going to, I just said I was going to" he called after me. "I'm soooory!"

Here are the shoes that caused the kurfufel at King/Bathurst on an unassuming Tuesday afternoon:
I suppose they are rather shiny...