When your plans for a Saturday night include a pint of Breyer's Butter Pecan, a cheap bottle of Merlot, and Celine Dion's Greatest Hits, chances are your summer romance just hit the wall. Rather than leaving a string of rambling messages that you're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Him (and by the way, he'll Never Have Again), resist the urge to plot your reconciliation Days Of Our Lives -style and move on. Here's some of the best advice I've found, to help you cope:

* Use the band-aid approach ' Remove emotional ties as quickly as possible

When a relationship ends, especially if we aren't the ones who ended it, it's natural to cling to the hope of getting back together. However, if it's obvious your Ex has moved on to new romantic pastures, or if you know in your heart the relationship was unhealthy or ultimately unworkable, it's best to go cold-turkey. This means purging your environment of all reminders of the relationship including photos (you can store them away somewhere out of sight) and mailing him back his belongings. The sooner you let go of his boxer shorts, the sooner you can let go of him.

* Step away from the speed dial.

Giving yourself time to heal and grieve means separating 'I' from 'We.' This means your Ex should no longer be your best friend, 'go to' person, or even friendly acquaintance ' at least for the first couple of months, or even longer depending on the length of the relationship. As I myself know only too well, prolonging contact only prolongs the torture of no longer being with your guy. Do you really still want to be in his life when he meets his 'Ms. Right' 4 weeks after breaking up with you? Focus on getting through one day at a time, and give yourself space to heal.

* It's your pity party, so cry if you want to

At the beginning of a break-up, crying and venting your pain can be one of the best things you do to release your hurt and ultimately move on. Choose your confidants wisely: A smug married or bitter single friend might not be the best option. Protect yourself emotionally by only confiding in compassionate, healthy friends who can help you heal. Commiserating with another single friend going through the same thing might feel good at first but ultimately your goal is to heal and move on, not stay stuck.

* Keep reaching out to friends and family

When going through emotional pain, many of us feel like curling into a ball and never leaving the couch again. While time alone to process things is important, be careful not to isolate yourself. One of the best things you can do to get out of your own head is to spend time with other people, doing activities that get your mind off things. Too much thinking about the relationship, which is most likely to occur when alone, can lead to dwelling, ruminating and obsessing - not good. Remember to ask your friends about their lives and how they're doing. After the first couple of weeks of venting, a good idea is to limit discussion of the relationship to 10 minutes ' any longer and your friends may suddenly seem to have awfully busy schedules...

* A new chapter

As clich' as it sounds, maintaining a positive mind-set is one of the best cures to a broken heart. Try to see this experience as a new chapter in your life: Start a new hobby you've been putting off; join a new club, sports team or activity. Create as much positive energy and momentum as you can to propel yourself into a happier, more exciting future. I absolutely guarantee that with time, the painful sting of the break-up will fade. Focus on yourself and remember - the most important relationship you'll ever have is with you!

Have you had to survive a bad breakup? How did you cope?

By: Lisa Summers