No, not that one! Shame on you!

I'm talking about Cellulite – the bane of every bikini wearer over age 20. We all think we can beat it, but statistics tell us that a whopping 85 to 98% of all post-pubescent women have some cellulite.

What is it? Unlike regular fat that lies deep beneath the skin near the bones, cellulite refers to fat cells imbedded in the upper layers of the skin trapped in a net of elastic collagen fibers that hold it in place. With age, the fibers harden and the fat takes on a bubbly appearance, giving the characteristic cottage cheese-like texture. Cellulite fat cannot be burned off with exercise, nor can it be removed with a topical cream, massage, or even liposuction.

What causes it? Scientists aren’t sure, but this isn’t a new problem. Records going back 150 years indicate it’s been a concern for women for a long time. Women of all sizes have to deal with it, although it is worse for larger women. Some theories point to diet, lifestyle and stress as aggravating factors.

Who can we blame?! Cellulite, collagen, and weight gain patterns are inherited. Female hormones are suspected as well. Bottom line: if you are a woman and your mother has some cellulite, you’re almost guaranteed to get it.

What can you do about it? Many dermatologists doubt the reliability of most available treatments. Some topical creams claim to shrink cellulite using compounds containing additives such as caffeine; massage will also reduce the appearance. However, both of these measures only temporarily push fluids out of the fatty tissues for a few hours; eventually your body will naturally replenish it. Some expensive clinical treatments have better but limited effectiveness. Unfortunately, targeting problem areas with exercise won’t do it either.

Your best bet is to maintain a healthy diet and weight to minimize cellulite when possible. Certain foods containing lecithin, essential fatty acids, amino acids and antioxidants work to reduce fluids and increase circulation in skin cells which in turn strengthens membranes and holds cellulite deeper beneath upper skin layers. However, don’t confuse reducing fluids in fat cells with drinking less. Staying well hydrated will help your body flush toxins and generally reduce body fat.

Want one quick fix for beach days? Try self tanner lotion. Makeup artists on “Baywatch” used color to camouflage problem areas.

Take heart, ladies. If 85-98% of women have this problem, so does 85-98% of Hollywood.



Mamaluv is a ChickAdvisor Member and blogger who has no cellulite whatsoever*, though she loves to help those who do.

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* Ok fine, that was a lie.