The Hangover 3: Bachelorette Party Edition

Posted by Nora | Tuesday May 17, 2011

As of this weekend, I was a bachelorette party semi-virgin, meaning that the only other bachelorette party I attended was when I was 21 and served as my sister’s Maid of Honor (if you use the term loosely).

I threw her what I vaguely remember to be a bachelorette party that ended with the two of us turning up our noses at the wedding-dress-friendly crudité her lovely friend had stocked the hotel room with and wandering the streets of Minneapolis in search of a hamburger at 2:30 in the morning and our mother shaking her head at us the next day at brunch.

Fast forward seven years and I am once again suiting up for bridesmaid duty, this time for one of my dearest childhood friends (if you don’t count the one time she made me eat a dog biscuit to earn an ice cream drumstick at her house after school).

Saturday night started out perfectly: wine and girl talk in a hotel suite downtown, the bride opening gifts of tasteful lingerie and heart-felt cards with nary a piece of penis décor in sight.

And then we went out.

Hard.

Harder than I remember ever going out in college.

There was dancing. Shouting. Laughter. Shots. Oh, so many shots. Or as they should be called, tiny glasses of regret.

The damage?
• One sprained ankle, incurred during an attempted Dirty Dancing lift on the dance floor
• One more-than-slightly annoyed boyfriend, waiting in the car at 4:30am outside of the hotel
• One slightly-annoyed husband, dropping off two backseat drivers at the beginning of the night
• One missing birth control prescription (oops!)
• Fifteen blurry iPhone photos (what were we trying to capture?)
• Countless gibberish text messages, because communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship
• Two missing shoes, found the next morning in the hotel room, far from their owner
• Shattered dignity, which can only be repaired after much self-reflection

All in all, I’d call it a success.

What’s your favorite bachelorette party story? No judgments.

by Nora McInerny

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14 Comments

	on May 17, 2011 mamaluv STAFF said: @Ali - that was my first thought too: ewww! Would not want to drink from those.
	on May 17, 2011 Ali de Bold STAFF said: @jskim07 - No I didn't take it with me. It was gross to drink from to be honest. These skinny little penis straws... that had texture on them. LOL!
	on May 17, 2011 Nora said: @Nora's sister...that does sound familiar. WHAT DO I KNOW?
	on May 17, 2011 beachbabe 4,164 said: lol! This is so hilarious, especially Nora's sister's comment. The only bachelorette party I've been to was my own but it consisted of a house party full of girls, eating cupcakes and nachos, and opening awkward sex toys in front of my sister and (now) husband's cousin who were both only 16 and looked rather terrified at the thought of the two of us actually using them. lol It was a fun night though! Now I get to help throw one for the same friend who threw mine and I don't intend to be as nice as she was! Mwahahahaha
	on May 17, 2011 TammyK 1,073 said: lol @ Nora's sister. This is just too funny!
	on May 17, 2011 Nora's Sister said: You're remembering this slightly wrong. We didn't walk the streets looking for a burger, but I did yell that I wanted one and then proceeded to throw rice cakes and raw carrots at you.
	on May 17, 2011 jskim07 50 said: LOL Ali. I want a penis straw! Did you get to take it home with you?
	on May 17, 2011 ngill 1,669 said: Oh gosh, we went to Vegas earlier this year for my sister's bachelorette and Siofan is definitely right, the anonymity definitely allows for more craziness. 18 of us flew down to sin city, 14 on one flight from Toronto, 2 from vancouver, and 2 from new york. I made matching hot pink t-shirts for everyone to wear on the plane with scandalously low v-necks, on the front they said how you were related to the bride (ex: sister from another mother) and the back said something inappropriate or funny. For my sister, her shirt said bride-to-be on the front and on the back "change my mind". After one day of wearing those shirts down the strip, we were easily identified as the "Pink Shirts" for the rest of the weekend by countless strangers. Our weekend ended with a bachelorette with no voice, a cousin with a sprained and severely swollen ankle (from falling off the stage while dancing), and countless inside jokes and stories that I still have yet to share with anyone who wasn't there.
	on May 17, 2011 mamaluv STAFF said: "low key" usually = stupidly stupidness, amirite?
	on May 17, 2011 Nora said: Our goal for the evening was to keep it low-key. It's like we jinxed ourselves.