The Single Girl Tries Online Dating (Great Idea, right?)

Posted by Nora | Tuesday November 23, 2010

In August, my cousins and I sat down to make online dating profiles together. We traded laptops and gave each other feedback on our bios and our profile pics, and dutifully paid our fees for the 3-month trial. We started out sending each other profiles and e-mails from guys we thought looked promising either for ourselves or for each other.

While we weren’t sure exactly what we were looking for, it quickly became clear what we didn’t want.

Ladies, I present to you excerpts from the 6 Worst Online Dating E-mails Of All Time (or at least, of my time):

#6 - Subject: NOT TALL BUT GOOD POEM WRITER

Insert awful, uncomfortable poem about the change of seasons from Comp 101 here.

My Verdict: He is neither tall nor a good poem writer.

#5 - Subject: HELLOOKIKNOWSIMOLDER

IMANOLDERMNBUTWELLKEPTSEEKINGAWOMANFORLONGTERMSOULMATE

My Verdict: After deciphering his e-mail, I was able to confirm that this man not only needs a new keyboard, but is seeking a “woman for long term soulmate,” whatever that means. He is also 65. Good luck, old man. Maybe you and my dad could be friends.

#4 - Subject: SKILLS

I don’t have any nunchucks, but I take a lot of martial arts classes.

My Verdict: In no way did my profile indicate that I was interested in a grown man who thinks that kick-fighting is cool. Come on, bro.

#3 - Subject: Hello

Hi.

My Verdict: Thanks for letting me know in advance that you are not only boring, but lazy. NEXT!

#2 - Subject: :)

What do you do for fun? Do you like cats?

My Verdict: Oh my God, is this my life?

#1 - Subject: Don’t be shy!

My name is ***. I am from Los Angeles I am coming out there for 2 weeks to stay with a friend in Excelsior just trying to find some people to hang out with. My friend is married and has 2 kids so I’m looking for a friend to get to know and kick it with for when im (sic) out there. I have my own room at his house with kegerator in it so let’s talk and have some beers... So if you want to meet another nice California man hit me up. Search on Facebook and you will find me.

My Verdict: This man is for sure an axe murderer, right?

Have you tried online dating? What was your best or worst experience?

by Nora McInerny

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8 Comments

	on December 01, 2010 Dating Coach KK said: Nora, This made me smile and laugh. I have definitely seen these emails as well. I think a lot has to do with the fact that many are lost as to how to date online. Many men simply are confused by us and have no clue how to start talking with us. Yes, dating online definitely has these emails but like several of those that have posted here share my same idea of online dating. If you have ever been in sales it is not different then client prospecting. Online dating is popular due to the fact it does allow you to find the "NO's" and allows people to get to the "yes's" a lot quicker then traditional methods. I tell my clients that online dating is an art. Once you learn the skills it becomes very easy and quickly you are able to identify what it people you will match well with. One point you mention is that you didn't know what you were looking for. It is often a lot easier to know what you not looking for but if you have an idea of what you are looking for it does help you develop a path to then finding it. It is like trying to find a job, if you don't know who you want to work for, or the career you would like to have, how do you know were to submit a resume and worse yet how that resume should be written and what skills you should have to be qualified in the first place.
	on November 30, 2010 Jenna Pederson said: I thought I was the only one who received emails like this! I seriously can't believe some of the stuff people send. My favorite (and I've gotten it from multiple people) is: "Hello. My name is ***." Yep, I got that from your profile. Thanks for sharing these!
	on November 24, 2010 cathy3087 98 said: Hahaha #1 is a winner!
	on November 23, 2010 Ali de Bold STAFF said: I get messaged by strange men sometimes on Facebook. I don't know everyone I friend. It's usually someone overseas who messages me stuff like what you got, Nora. Or asks if I would meet with them. CLEARLY since I'm on Facebook I must be looking for a relationship with someone from the middle east.
	on November 23, 2010 Nora said: For me, I think the internet is best used for shopping and procrastinating...but at least i got one good post out of this!
	on November 23, 2010 Ali de Bold STAFF said: LOL! Please keep posting these!
	on November 23, 2010 AnnaV 1,018 said: This is hilarious! No doubt you'll have to sift through a few of those but I'm sure you'll find the good ones soon enough! My mom actually met her husband online and they have been married for almost 2 years.
	on November 23, 2010 jchang212 106 said: LOL oh my gosh, Nora, this had me stifling giggles like a loser :P I actually know quite a few people in successful relationships/marriages that met online. I'm sure that in time, you will find your prince charming! :)