These Teens Are Ruining Facebook

Posted by Nora | Tuesday June 7, 2011

...Or, my kids will never have internet access and other curmudgeonly things I’ve said this week.

It’s graduation season. And you know why I know that? Because I have a Facebook account. And on that Facebook account, I am friends with high school students. And do you know what that means? It means that the young children I babysat during my emotionally fragile teenage years are now old enough to watch over a new generation of children. But while I spent my nights recounting each social injustice in the private pages of my journal or furtively passing notes to my friends in the hallway, the teens in my feed have a decidedly different way of approaching things.

As an anthropological study of the laziest variety (sorry Jane Goodall), I’ve studied their Facebook habits for many months. My observations have confirmed that that my children will be raised off the grid and away from the evils of the Internet (I will remain a contributor to this website and an avid Facebook user).

Why deny my children the pleasure of the Internet? Because I’m already the meanest mom in the world, that’s why. Also, because the teenage girls of the world insist on using it for the wrong things. Like what? Like this!

To fish for compliments: Nobody thinks that the photo you took of yourself pensively biting your lip and gazing at your own reflection in your parents’ bathroom is a candid. Likewise, nobody thinks you actually think it is “SO UGLY!”

To fight with friends, family and frenemies: I never thought I would long for the days when you could settle the score by writing about someone on a bathroom wall. That was before I realized the Facebook wall had long replaced the bathroom wall and that I was old and not cool.

To show that ex boyfriend you’re SO OVER IT: If the best revenge is to live a good life, then the ultimate revenge is to go to great lengths to show just how good that life is, right? Wrong. A status message quoting Taylor Swift does not remind a boy of how good he had it. It probably just reminds him of how annoying he thinks Taylor Swift is.

To show that ex boyfriend you are SO NOT OVER IT: Sadface photos. Cryptic, passive-aggressive status updates about overcoming adversity, finding beauty in heartache and other words of wisdom from Top 40 pop stars of the emo variety. In my day, we would just sniffle quietly in the back of the class. Both are cringeworthy. Only one is cached on the internet.

To practice your “modeling”: Not to sound like your mother, but you’re too young to be dressing like that. And I don’t care what you saw in the Victoria’s Secret Pink Catalogue, you are not to be looking at the camera in that way.

To declare your popularity: How will people know which very best friend will stand the test of time and be your lifelong bestie long after graduation if you’re not engaged in flurry of photo tagging and wall posting at all times? Spoiler alert: maybe 5 of those friendships will last past the first semester of college.

I’ll be (uncharacteristically) fair and say that we can’t blame it all on the teens. What’s your Facebook pet peeve?

by Nora McInerny

More by Nora
More on Relationships

Pin It

Summer Reads: Books To Buy June...

Summer Accessories: Belts For...

16 Comments

	on June 10, 2011 Ali de Bold STAFF said: I agree with Beachbabe. Anything you put on the Internet you are making everyone's business because you are inviting them all to snoop. It's just one of those things you need to think about: Do I want people seeing this years from now?
	on June 10, 2011 beachbabe 4,164 said: Personally, the pictures I see of my Facebook friends in every day situations, be it a candid shot or a posed shot, that's actually when I think they are the loveliest! That's when truly pretty girls (or handsome guys) shine through. Not posed shots in scandelous clothes in front of a mirror with a pouty lip. Or flexing abs and biceps lol Also, anything you post on Facebook has now become all of your Facebook friends' business as well. Like it or not. If you wouldn't say it, do it, talk about it, or wear it in public then I'd say it's probably wise to not post it on Facebook either. Facebook has become a "virtual" public place if you will and should be approached in a respectful way.
	on June 10, 2011 casey said: I am not gonna lie, I kinda take offense to this, because I do a lot of these things as well, (with the exception of a few) and did them on myspace when I was a teenager. Unfortunately the photos were very sexy and I did get a lot of negative opinions about it. But, if you aint got at least one hater your not doing something right! If you think its wrong, your probably old and really when it all boils down to it, either dont look, or simply mind your own business. If you don't like it, you probably have no business on facebook. Because thats half of what its about - thats made it what it is, and your never going to change teenagers! Even if it wasn't that- say they moved on (from Facebook) they are always rebellious and are going to do something bad. Dare I say a suggestive photo is risqué but it could be a lot worse. JMO. Unless you are directly related to the person, its really none of your business.
	on June 09, 2011 Rhonda said: So hate people posting pics of their meals!!!! I find that guys are more guilty of this one then the ladies. Truthfully I am guilty of posting pics of the kids, but they are my pride and joy!!!
	on June 07, 2011 TammyK 1,073 said: I have to agree that a lot of guys are just as bad with their pictures of their abs and they pretend to play it "cool" like that's just how they look when they're chilling by the computer. I'm so tempted to post up some to show you guys but I won't lol.
	on June 07, 2011 LadyFlash 8,899 said: I agree beachbabe about the drunken photos etc. I ended up deleting a friend from my FB because every time I would log in she would be posting pictures of herself really drunk and making out with different guys all the time. I just felt like...OK I'm too old for this crap. It's annoying to everyone else and is not good for your image at all.
	on June 07, 2011 jskim07 50 said: hahahahahhhaha Let's not forget the boys though, I can't recall how many times I have to shield my eyes from half naked pictures of boys attempting to show off their "6 pack abs" without looking like they're straining...
	on June 07, 2011 beachbabe 4,164 said: So totally agree with all of this! My pet peeve is definitely when young girls are taking pictures of themselves in mirrors in seductive or other inappropriate poses... I find actual pictures way more fun to look at it! Also pictures of nights at the bar. So not flattering and they just make you look cheap when it's obvious you're drunk. You never know who will see these pictures and it will come back to bite you. Plus, alot of people have their parents and even grandparents on Facebook now! @Ali - I'm with you. "_________ is going out for supper." 10 minutes later. "________ is at the restaurant". 15 minutes later. "___________ is eating supper at the restaurant". So annoying! I think with something like Facebook comes alot of responsibility. So somehow, young teens need to learn to respect themselves both online and in real life.
	on June 07, 2011 LadyFlash 8,899 said: I think my pet peeve is when people flood your feed with pictures all the time of their children. I get that being a parent is super exciting and an amazing privilege...But we really don't need to know that '____ had his/her first poop today!' lol. And I'm sure people think I'm shallow with some of my pictures, but it's just one of my outlets to show my creativity, talent as a make-up artist to experiment with different looks on myself. If I could have a living dummy with me all the time to use instead of me, I'd use it!
	on June 07, 2011 Ali de Bold STAFF said: @mamaluv "I'm sitting on the patio". Exactly. Generations from now everyone will laugh at us and how open we were with our lives. But we'll be long gone so hopefully we won't have to experience it first hand.