Truth: Disneyworld is Awesome, but it turns out that Cortex and Cervix are Not the Same Thing
I’ve been wrong a time or two in my life. Before this past weekend, the most notable of these occasions was during a 6th grade science quiz when I labeled part of the brain as the “cervix” and then argued about it with my teacher. Mrs. Vance, in case you're reading this, I acknowledge that you were actually right. But in my defense, cervix and cortex are really similar words.
My most recent revelation is this: Disneyworld is so Not Lame.
When I was in first or second grade, I got a phone call from Goofy telling me I’d won a trip to Disneyworld. I’d barely had time to start screaming with joy after handing the phone to my mother when she was calling Goofy a jerk and hanging up the phone. Turns out my uncle does a pretty great Goofy impression.
Over the next 20 years, I brainwashed myself into thinking that Disneyworld was not the happiest place on earth, but the lamest. I mean, if my parents never took me it had to be because it was lame, right? WRONG.
The happiest place on earth...even for hipsters
The Haunted Mansion. Hot tip: don't bring a 4-year-old here.
This trip to Disneyworld gave me superhuman strength.
One day at the Magic Kingdom with our niece and nephew and I realized my childhood lack of a Disneyworld vacation was nothing less than total parental neglect. Disneyworld. Is. Awesome. You can meet Cinderella! You can have breakfast with Goofy! You can photobomb groups of European teens! YOU GET A BUTTON ON YOUR FIRST VISIT AND PEOPLE ARE EXTRA NICE TO YOU! It really IS the best vacation ever!
If you don't wear your ears, how will Minnie recognize you, Uncle Aaron?!
Unfortunately, Disneyworld is not the only thing I have been wrong about. I will reluctantly admit that I may possibly have been wrong about a few other things as well. For example:
Yoga isn’t a workout: The first time I did hot yoga, I spent half of the class laying on the floor with my eyes closed, praying for death to take me away from all of the pain. Also, my 62-year-old mother can kick my ass in yoga any day. I mean, not that it’s a contest, but when a woman 30-some years older than you is in a confident headstand while you’re busy falling on your butt, that’s humbling.
Being tan is hot: In high school and college, I was a lifeguard at an outdoor pool, where I spent over 8 hours a day all summer sitting in direct sunlight and occasionally rescuing little nuggets who had accidentally paddled into the deep end. Now, I’m dedicated to keeping this wild Irish rose the perfect shade of pasty white, studying the mirror for any signs that my sun-worshipping past will start to show up on my face. SPF 100+ for life, y’all.
What about my chicks? Have you ever been wrong before? Did your parents love you and take you to Disneyworld? Have you ever eaten breakfast with Minnie Mouse?
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16 Comments
Can't say I have, but think it would be a most excellent adventure! | |
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Never been there..... | |
i've never been to Disneyworld myself, mom use to say that if there is food on the table, and we are love, clothed and we are in school, that is good enough. | |
We were never taken to any place like Disneyland when we were kids. But we went to Ireland every other year to visit family. We had amazing adventures in Ireland. I wouldn't trade those trips for anything! | |
I have never been to DisneyWorld myself, but it is a dream of mine to take my children there. I hope I can afford the trip one day! | |
Oh, Nora. You are SO SO SO right about Disney World. I dreamed my whole life about going - ever since the commercial for it at the beginning of my Pocahontas VHS. My parents never took us. Neglect, I know. I FINALLY went for the first time with a group of friends when I was 18 but I was totally a 5 year old at heart - like everyone who steps foot on Main Street USA. So magical and wonderful! We had a character lunch with the princesses and I almost died. Now I'm just waiting for the funds so I can take my husband there. I'd live in Disney if it was allowed. So glad you had a great time! | |
@Becky - if you go in the off season (not totally sure when that is, but to be safe let's say outside of the May-October window), you can get amazing deals on hotels. We went last time in March and I think we paid $35 for our room! It was just a simple Best Western or whatever, but it was clean and had a decent pool. Of course there is no limit going upwards. | |
I'm a little consoled that I'm not alone in my sadly lacking childhood! ;-) I guess to my parents defense, we didn't grow up here. We grew up in the UK and we went to lots of theme parks over there.... But this is DISNEY and I really want to go!! Do you girls know of any good sites with deals (including hotel)? | |
We never made it to Disney World either, come to think of it we never really went any where. I guess we weren't loved as much as they love keeping their money in their pockets. I feel so deprived. LOL :( |