I’m getting a new sister on Saturday. Not because my parents finally gave into years of begging (while I’m no doctor, I think the baby train left the station a few years ago) but because my older brother decided he was ready to give his long-time girlfriend a new last name.

I’m lucky to have a life filled with great relationship role-models, from my kooky-but-adorably-Odd-Couple parents to the power-nerd duo that is my big sister and her husband to my childhood friends and their husbands who let us be weird kids again every time we get together. I love love, and I love being surrounded by people who feel the same way.

In honor of my brother’s upcoming wedding, here’s what I’ve learned about love from all of the couples around me:

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love laughs at your stories from high school. And grade school.
Love doesn’t think it’s gross when you wear your retainer.
Love is okay with the fact that you’re a 35-year-old man who buys Lego sets.
Love is gracious when your sister forgets about your food allergy again.
Love bails your brother out of jail. Well, after a night or two.
Love shovels the snow for you in the winter.
Love is patient with your loud-mouth family.
Love cooks dinner. Again.
Love makes room for you.
Love thought your marriage proposal was a joke, but said yes eventually.
Love gives you time to chase your dream, even if it means watching the kids all weekend for a year.
Love requests a downgrade from business class to sit with you on a cross-Atlantic flight.
Love can spend 6 months of the year in another state but still drive you crazy.
Love likes that painting you did of some apples sitting on a table, even if you want to throw it away.
Love pretends not to know that you used to have a mullet.
Love thinks it’s cute that you don’t have your driver’s license and still live with your parents.
Love reads your blog long before he meets you in person, then shows up one day with a mixtape that rules your world.
Love takes you, your sister and your cousin through the White Castle drive-thru at 2 am, and keep all judgments to himself.
Love arm wrestles you just to prove a point.
Love deletes that photo of you where it looks like you have six chins and a lazy eye.
Love watches Twilight with you, “just to see what it’s all about.”
Love pretends to listen to your golf stories.
Love moves from coast to coast with you. And your cat.
Love knows that fairy tales are BS, and anything worth having takes some work.
Love hates that you don’t eat leftovers, but that’s okay.
Love loves your friends.
Love knows you’re probably never going to sell that vintage car.
Love orders for you at restaurants, to make you feel like a lady.
Love is gracious when your sister "accidentally" makes her expose her bra at a gay bar.
Love calls the police when you come home from your trip a day early to surprise her, because you sound a lot like a burglar when you walk up the stairs.
Love still flirts with you after 36 years of marriage.
Love will marry you on an army base in a pants suit, if that’s what it takes.
Love still kisses you even when you start picking your nose in public.
Love knows that it isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Your turn, what have you learned about love?

by Nora McInerny