When to Leave an Abusive Relationship
Abusive relationships are more common than you might think. According to The White Ribbon Campaign, 51% of Canadian women over the age of 16 have experienced at least one form of gender-based violence. Are you surprised that it's more than half of us?
There's evidence of that in a number of forum threads on ChickAdvisor where members have repeatedly asked each other if they should stay with their abusive boyfriend or spouse.
If you've never been with an abuser you're probably horrified that someone would put up with it in the first place, but unfortunately abuse is traumatizing and when it's happening, we often are so in shock we react differently than we imagine we would in that situation.
I know first hand because it happened to me. I don't like to talk about it often, because it still embarrasses me though I know it shouldn't. Before it happened, I imagined that women in those situations were weak and didn't have the common sense to leave when someone treated them badly. This is not the case. You'd be surprised how an abuser can mess with your head and your self-esteem.
This issue was raised again today when a member shared her story about the awful things her boyfriend did to her this weekend. That's the reason I'm writing this post. The title of her forum thread is very telling about her state of mind;
Isn't it interesting how we can convince ourselves to keep loving someone who treats us like garbage? This poor girl (and many others) are giving their love to abusers whose tempers can literally kill. The Canadian Women's Foundation reports that one to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
I urge you to stand strong on the topic of abuse. If you or someone you know is in a situation like this one, please get out/help them get out. Call the police. Do whatever you can to distance yourself from that person. Love shouldn't hurt.
There is nothing you can do to 'fix' the person who is abusing you. If in time they get the help they need and become a better person, God bless them. But don't let yourself be the punching bag and the one that ultimately pays the price.
There's evidence of that in a number of forum threads on ChickAdvisor where members have repeatedly asked each other if they should stay with their abusive boyfriend or spouse.
If you've never been with an abuser you're probably horrified that someone would put up with it in the first place, but unfortunately abuse is traumatizing and when it's happening, we often are so in shock we react differently than we imagine we would in that situation.
I know first hand because it happened to me. I don't like to talk about it often, because it still embarrasses me though I know it shouldn't. Before it happened, I imagined that women in those situations were weak and didn't have the common sense to leave when someone treated them badly. This is not the case. You'd be surprised how an abuser can mess with your head and your self-esteem.
This issue was raised again today when a member shared her story about the awful things her boyfriend did to her this weekend. That's the reason I'm writing this post. The title of her forum thread is very telling about her state of mind;
"I love him so much but what he did to me was so wrong"
Isn't it interesting how we can convince ourselves to keep loving someone who treats us like garbage? This poor girl (and many others) are giving their love to abusers whose tempers can literally kill. The Canadian Women's Foundation reports that one to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
I urge you to stand strong on the topic of abuse. If you or someone you know is in a situation like this one, please get out/help them get out. Call the police. Do whatever you can to distance yourself from that person. Love shouldn't hurt.
There is nothing you can do to 'fix' the person who is abusing you. If in time they get the help they need and become a better person, God bless them. But don't let yourself be the punching bag and the one that ultimately pays the price.
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